Now I was going to post this on our family blog but I didn't because I didn't want to embarrass us both so I did it this way. Ken, I know I haven't been the best husband to you or even the best partner and like I always say you definitely deserve better then me for all the crap and mishalfs I have put you through, but for some reason you still keep me. Believe me I am definitely relieved of that, and very appreciative because honestly without you in my life I don't know where I would be or what I would have become. Ever since the first day I met you I knew you were something special and I didn't want to let you go. I told everyone I knew about you and that I found the perfect person for me and I was hoping the same thing for you. The first time I looked into your eyes I knew that there was a woman who had a lot to show me and give me and who knows what you saw in my eyes when you looked into them, probably someone really nervous or confused because I was. How could I even be in this situation with someone so beautiful and amazing as you are. I don't deserve this am I on the same planet as she is.
The first few months of our relationship was so hard because we had to date long distance and even though it was only four hours (sometimes three and half) it seemed like I was never going to get to see you and I missed you all the time and I still miss you today when you aren't close by me. I have a lot to say but I don't know where to start and how to say it. So after dating and being engaged (a combined total of only 12 wonderful weeks) we got married and man was I glad we did that because now you never had to leave me again. Well except for when you went to New York with your family. Getting married to you was the best decision I have ever made in my life. You have changed me in so many ways that I can't even list on this because I know I would forget so many, but just know that I am forever grateful to you for your patience and your love to stick by me through no matter what happens to us.
Everyday I take a moment to thank the Lord for giving me such a blessing in my life and the huge responsibility of taking care of one of his beloved children. I know I haven't been doing my best especially lately with not being able to provide for you in many aspects and it kills me inside to know that you give your all to me and our kids everyday and I can't do or haven't been doing the same. You definitely are a stronger person than me and that strength drives me to do more all the time and to be better. Believe me without your strength and your guidance I would be way off the path to no where, but you have kept me right here with you.
Ken I know I have let you down so many times and I haven't been there for you when you have needed me the most. I also know that I am horrible at noticing the signs when you do need me or need something else and I apologize for that. Hopefully I can get better at it and not cause so much stress in your life. Just know that I love you with all my heart and soul and there isn't anything I won't do for you. I love you so much and will forever be indebted to you for everything you do for me and what you mean to me.
I have put together a playlist of songs that can probably describe how I feel about you a little better. I know this may be the dumbest thing I have ever done for you or event the most chessy but I thought of it on my own and I hope you enjoy it.
Listen to every song because each one is different but says how I feel about you and what you mean to me.
I love you babe and forever will.
Jason
